You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
