trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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