I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
