Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
