I don't think brook has ever known best
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
