can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
