U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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