No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
