And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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