What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
the night ended with taco bell and tears
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
