Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
