It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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