If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
