I saw his package. It spoke to me.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Randomize
