Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Randomize
