Walk of Shame. In a state park.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
