He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Life is so much better after having sex.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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