yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize