oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
