I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
