You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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