Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
