I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
dude. I can hear the air.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
