Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize