i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
In America we eat man semen.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Randomize