GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
