haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
