I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize