But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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