We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
