last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
