I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Randomize
