I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
