I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
