It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize