Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
