Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
