The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Randomize
