if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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