What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
My dad just said "fuck circus"
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
