Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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