We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
