I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize