This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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