at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
