i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
