Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
