Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
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