You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Randomize
