So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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