Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
