$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
