i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She made me pour olive oil on her.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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