? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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