people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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