i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
