whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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