i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
