you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i believe in u and ur pee
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
