I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
