i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Randomize
