we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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