I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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