dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
We got so high we made milksteak
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
