He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
