On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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