Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
