I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize